~~~ Cinderalla ' s ~~~

Wednesday, March 11, 2009
11:26 AM

Things happened, with a reason, or without. Sitting in this same empty room, I am feeling so restless, and scared. Tears have been dried out, all that left is a smile. There are so much that I still want to tell you, but we both know that you are not the one.

My heart is twisting like hell, deep breathing is the only way out. Because I really don't want to let you go. However, I have to...............

the very first time in my life, I am so scared of being alone~~~~

P.S: Cherished, therefore let go.

Labels: I miss you

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Sunday, November 16, 2008
2:59 PM

If not getting married, why date?
If gonna get hungry, why eat?
If gonna wake up, why sleep?
If gonna pass away one day no matter what, why live?

there must be a reason.....for the things that happen~~~

ps: a brilliant weather today...life is gorgerous, as always!!

Labels: Random extreme~~~

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
5:11 PM

yeah yeah exams' coming!! and i am really not freaking out~why??

above are a few pictures of my beetle...they were actually taken for my mum~~hehe :)

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Friday, October 31, 2008
7:00 PM

Happy merry Halloween~~~
time really flies too fast..it didn't keep the promise to wait for me though. Alright I started talking rubbish right from the begining of this post...lol....

I met a lot new people recently from Subway~~nice place to work honestly..haha

I watched "Painted Skin" eventually under the influence of my buddy..lol...the music is so smoothing, this is a heart-broken love story with a little bit horrified sensation. Well that's my impression lah...

I realised that i really need to gear up....for my exam le...studying?...haiz....small case...:P :P

and then i also realised that I, no matter what, cannot forget him...it's like a living memory, it plays in my mind so often that i couldn't even control it. So what?

Go SLEEP!!!

oh Gosh, i am just soooooo tired now, cuz finished work at 11pm then just reached home!! see you soon...

like to apologize to those people asked me to relink you: Sorry Weiqing, Junyi, Sheryl and Cheehow.....I am really too lazy to go back to my template to edit them at THIS moment...but I will do it once my exams finish ok? ! hah and thanks for those of sweeties who tag my blog...thanks for keeping the tag board survive~~~wee wee~~~

take care to the people I care :D

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Thursday, October 30, 2008
5:17 PM

hello Waitangi!

Labour day holiday just finished and four more weeks to the final exams.. it's kind of not that scary and also stressful~~my buddy got herself a new boyfriend, that was very fast considered that many things happened in her life in the short 2 months time.

Recently Hamilton police are everywhere for don't know what reason, it's kind of interesting. I heard from a news few weeks ago saying that 2 teenagers were shot by a gun while they were wallking home at 1am along a main road. Shocking right? hah that's New Zealand~~

Auckland is even worse. You can hear news talking about someone being killed, robbed, or kidnapped nearly everyday, which is just soooo not good.

oh well...forget about that then. Got to go back continue doing my treaty essay now. Global economic depression is coming or has already come, hope everyone is fine still~~

Petrol price is just sooooooo LOW!!!! I love IT!!! hahah :D

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Saturday, September 27, 2008
6:04 PM

Oh well I probably watched too many dramas that my mind just can't stop dreaming. Noooooo :(

But still, I wish to believe in something that could have been really silly. That is just the one thing in the past that I want to hold on to the future, and hopefully it works.

I know that it could probably turns out to be an extremely useless effort, but I just want to believe in fate for this time, once and never again :P praying hard? hmmm maybe not.....

Like many of you, we all have a busy life, to keep ourselves occupied with all sort of stuffs. The end of year exam is coming, and then it will be the summer vocation the all the students have longed for. Friends in Singapore will be having their ultimately stressful A-level I guess. Oh dear I realised that I am so lucky to have met a bunch of talented ppl at TJ....and just here to wish them all the best for their exams even though you guys have heard this kind of wishes for millions times. hahah :D

and for myself, hmm nothing much to talk about because I am not going to write what have I been doing today, or what I am going to do tml...no daily reports in my blog...Oh one last thing to remember....to put your clock forward for an hour if you are in New Zealand, and I believe you know why..haha :D

alright then...wish you a happy day :D

Labels: Drama Fantacy

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
5:33 PM

Kia Ora,

Hello Beetles!!

The weather is absolutely horrible here in winter! It rains and winds non-stop, and staying in the house also keeps you freezing. LOL I have got nothing more to comment on already. haha

I believe that some of you already knew that I just got myself a VW Beetles! haha it's a blue baby...she is grogeous!! well...good things do not come for free, so I got to spend the next one and half year to pay it off...heehee and I just got my driving license, therefore......come on baby, drive on! haha...it freaked me out when i drove for the very first time cuz i kept driving the car to the opposite lane! haha but it's getting better now, and hopefully I will be able to drive my parents around when they come here next year! :D

On the other hand, Degree life is not easy! There are heaps of books that r waiting for me to PATIENTLY read them through, and billions of essays to write. Oh well I am not complaining, I am just trying to motivate myself :P

Anyway, hmm I am getting a little bit speechless..wahaha

last sentence for my reader:

" Drink tea, It keeps you going." -----from "The shipping news"

Labels: Love yah

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Sunday, June 22, 2008
5:18 AM

Kia Ora,

Hello Sunday!!

We've finally finished our clinical placements which left heaps of reports for us to complete. School's starting tomorrow, and a week later, we are in semester break again,for another 3-week time! Hooray :)

I am thinking of joining St. John ambulance as a volunteer, but they require for a DRIVING LICENSE!! oh no please....... so this decision immediately became a "to-be-considered". I met Paul on last thursday, woah he got his hair cut, that's cute man! Anyway Student Association is doing really well, and after the May conference down in Nelson, We are heading to Auckland for another NZUSA conference in early July. The only thing I pray hard for? No more backpackers' place please! hahah

Dad and Mum were back from Sweden yesterday. So I'll give them a call later of the day and chit-chating for a while. I can't wait for that..... :)

Besides, it seems that I missed Hui Von's Birthday again :( so wish her a belated happy birthday and best wishes to her life! take care buddy :)

I got my landlady to do my tea daily started from last week! that's definitely an awesome decision because it's much better that the takeaways from outside. Brilliant!

I'm rushing on the Human Development report today...hmmm hopefully I can get it done before midnight today. hehe :) Anyway good luck to whoever is reading my blog.

Cheers :)

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Tuesday, May 27, 2008
3:40 PM

Kia Ora,

well things have been moving on pretty fast that I don't even have time to pause and take a deep breath. hah, that's my lovely life and I got to love it. Studies have been doing really well and I have shorten my course for half a year's time, BRAVO!!

In addition, Like to say that I am really sorry for what have been happening in both China and Burma. they were tragegies, so hopefully people are blessed and at least they could suffer less in some ways.

It is pretty hard to update my blog in school as the website has been block on campus, ha therefore there will be another long time before my next update comes up. Things going around at this moment made me realise that how important it is to stay "healthy", to stay "easily satisfied". what are people busying chasing after everyday?? money? good appearance? pleasure? well of course you got to have something to run after otherwise life would be really boring. But since when so many of them start become pointless of chasing.....well...hard to say.

Anyway I wish everyone have a good day,trouble less and be happy of what you've got.
easy to say, but hard to do :)

G'day :)

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
3:56 AM

all right, i am back to blog.

well life in new zealand is pretty good,not saying it's relaxing but it can be said as fullfilling. I got plenty of time to learn what I am really interested in, and the education no longer make me feel like escaping as what i felt last year. I have to admit that last year was an total disaster...haha but fortunately the pasted one year has make me realised what i really want to be in future...as in a realistic future career, that could possibly help me realise all my dreams..but not what others want me to become. I am a lucky one....

being new in new zealand doesn't nean I am lonely...people are so helpful here, and it is even more fortunate to being able to make new friends that have same vision as you here....and within such short period of time, some of my views changed. Farmers' lives and farming culture could be very unique...and different living enviroments shape people with different characters....the most important thing is that they are proud of what they are, and not worrying changing themselves because of others' opinions, things like their appearances, body sizes, food they eat daily, etc. people are proud of everything they do, even trading drugs. that's cool...as it makes a obvious contrast to most of asians, we care a lot about how other people think of us, how much people talk abt the advantages of being slim, how fashion's going on and we follow. It seems that we are chasing after too many things that don't really relevant to us, and the sense of self-satisfiction is just keep going down and down....what a poor thing it is. sigh >.<

needless to say, the nature mother has given new zealand her most beautiful part of her body...the views are undescribable, therefore i won't say much abt that. I got to get a driving license fast as it 's really inconvenient nt having a car here....you can hardly move out of your house...

and the phone bill charges are rather high, but internet access seems like endlessly free...you can survive happily without a laptop or any eletric devices, just like me. haha

and school life is just as lovely as hamilton itself...peaceful, progressive, also not losing its sense of maturity and responsibility that tertiary students should carry.

things that spoil the leasant pictures still exit, like some of kiwis here actually not that polite...you can still come across people with no manner...hahaha but they don't bother me apparently...because I am too IN to the beautiful things around me..haha

just update till here first as my 1st lesson is starting really soon....before leaving, i would like to say "sorry" to some of you guys in singapore ...as i really can't make myself available to meet you guys for the last time....as things were going on rather complicated previously...so i would really appreciate if you could pardon me.....

did you hear me, CELESTA?? haaha :)
i will always carry those beautiful memories with me..and i will be back to singapore one day...because

i left my tennis rackets behind still....hehe :P

take care lor guys. I love you :))

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Wednesday, January 23, 2008
5:14 PM

My departure date has been changed, therefore guess i have no time to meet you guys already.
ha take care lor!

farewell :))

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Friday, January 18, 2008
3:34 PM

hey guys, I am leaving singapore really soon...for those i have not get to meet you, i am sorry for that, and best wishes to you.

have a great 2008 :D

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Sunday, November 04, 2007
6:58 PM

A level project is drawing to the end finally...

hwwppp.....dunno what to say exactly

just feel kind of weird,

haha

want to laugh out loud

towards the mid of Nov,

things will slowly come with a clearer picture

and crucial decisions going to be made

i say is all up to God's will,

but daddy said we should be objective on this matter

oh well, i have no comments

since there is a difference.....

SMILE

I LOVE :D

i want to say THANK YOU

to Kean yen!

haha

and THANK YOU

to TJ111.

to Matin,

haha THANK YOU too,

for you know what i mean :D

and

Let's wait and see

what's going to happen next :))

Labels: The youth which i have nowhere to put

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

6:43 PM

oh well

thank you

this is what i really want to say.

I've lost a lot

though i gained some.

making a right decision

is just so hard sometimes

however

force myself to stand still,

As a girl

i shall really be strong,

and

smile

I am truly grateful to my parents

for their generious forgivenness,

and their solid love for me,

that's what really melt the ice.

there is seldom communication between parents and their children,

therefore i feel fortunate for having such really understanding parents,

or

rather

friends in my life.

Thank you

Dad and Mum,

for everything :))

Labels: For them :D they are the lights in my life

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Thursday, October 25, 2007
4:04 PM

life pauses,

i stop everything,

stop smiling

stop dreaming

stop promising

stop apologizing

stop crying

and just simply

being numb.

my life is a secret

with no one's entering.

im pushing myself to suicidal

that's the reason i want to disappear

don't ask me why

because i won't explain

no matter who you are.

You could hate me to the core

you could slap me on my face

you could kick me, and do whatever you want

just stop asking me why.

i

zipped my mouth.

you want to use the ugliest words to describe me,

to your like.

all the way, im enduring

therefore i could continue enduring.

Two more weeks to go,

by next year you will know the reason for now.

lastly

i want to thank you

for the forgivingness.

i say what i mean;

i mean what i say.

Labels: i cherish therefore i let them go

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Wednesday, October 24, 2007
12:38 AM

it has been long

since my last blog

i am drifting away from you,

also

drifting towards something else.

my life, you shouldn't be bothered

sad memory,

just let it being erased

by

the forever-moving time.

i pray

you don't remember me

and

you won't remember me in future.

there are many many things

that i want to tell you

keep telling myself to stop dreaming

and yet,

seeing you still make me tortured

it's like living in the hell

that keep walking while not knowing what is going to happen for the next seconds.

maybe being with you,

is always that tiring.

so

i hide away my smile

in front of you

although i don't even have one.

and whatever i say

will be just like flowing water,

it makes me feel cold.

Therefore,

i will keep quiet

till the day i disappear,

as you wish

from your life.

To put a full stop on something,

you got to be 100% determined

regardless of anything you going to sacrifice.

you play boy?!

well

it's your life anyway.

---------------------------------------------

since i know you will never see this post

here is something for you

sleep more whenever you have time,

love your body;

go to washroom whenever you need,

as you really need to pamper yourself more;

although life sometimes does not allow you

to be carefree,

give yourself a free-thought day,

your smile will light up ppl's day;

cut down on smoking if you want to,

as it spoils your image sometimes;

live for yourself,

care not about others,

and cherish life.

there is a reason for me to say

you are good,

so believe what i said

as what i always believe.

:D

Labels: how painful my heart is, you will never know.

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Friday, October 12, 2007
11:12 AM

trust myself

trust the lord

things will get better

got back my promo results just now

everything numb me all over

hoping

you will light up my day

tonight, maybe

as you always do.

PW is making things worse

first time in my life

i really cannot breath

and yet

still afraid of asking for help.

Labels: don't know who will read this :)

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Tuesday, October 09, 2007
10:21 PM

it would be quite unrealistic

if i wanna be with you

right now

because

it sounds childish;

therefore i will wait

year by year.

God will be there

i wish you

a happy day :)

Labels: random random

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

10:17 PM

something continue goes wrong

and something right is coming

uncontrollable

i am here

waiting

to be

???

i realise

my life still got a long long way to go

so

do not be hurry

ok?

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

7:03 PM

ice edge starts to melt

drop by drop

i am truly grateful

to all you guys

little things you did

little words you said

make my day

i thank you

many thanks to 24/07

thanks,

for waiting for me;

thanks,

for forgiving me;

thanks,

for advising me;

thanks,

for so many things

i choose to believe

because your eyes make me to do so.

i treasure......

and

to be life-long cherished :D

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

1:36 AM

DayDreaming

its not for building up hopes

but collapsing the future

i'v always remebered

that day

that noon

that minutes & seconds

and

that words you said.

no matter what

no matter how long the time has passed

the impact remains

and im always afraid.

being a good girl

&

be strong.

Am i a nerd?

maybe.

or

maybe not.

up to you

i just want to be

myself,

the

used-to-be-me.

Labels: lOve is colour-blind

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Monday, October 08, 2007
3:12 AM

do not forgive me

do not care for me

bear with me for just a little more

and then

leave me alone.

i can't be saved

so dun ever try it;

save your time

for other

more worthwhile stuffs

i will feel better

afterall, your life is not mine,

because

i don't feel grateful to all those;

because

i am a cold-blooded one.

i have no wish to flag up my history

just walk away from me

dun ever look back.

so pathetic.

idiotically pathetic.

smiles??

i dislike it.

why am i smiling

when my heart is aching like hell??

i just simply

pray

for a peace.

you have no idea

on how hard my life is right now.

i say it is hard,

i mean it,

but you will never experience it

slow?!

yes we are,

freaking slow.

and so unfortunate

clash with my pathetic period of life.

is it a disaster?

or gifted by God?

Labels: Tsunami

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Sunday, October 07, 2007
2:54 AM

less smile for me

less care for you

i am a cold-blooded animal

staring at the air

in a cold-blooded version;

sick of doing all these

praying for a disappearance

and

coming back

with an amazing outlook;

more and more people getting to know it

but less and less people understand it

so

let it hibernating

for just a century

we

wait ,

and

see.

i say it,

i mean it.

i hate explaining "i mean it" even when i apologizing.

if you got a chance to read here, just wish you could understand.

_________________________________

i told you that you are good

because i believe that you are not bad

you eyes tell

_________________________________

and what's my weaknesses??

1. im scared of being shouted at,

it freaks me out

and makes me tear

2. you think im joking

when i seriously mean something

it brings up my hatred

once the gap is formed in between,

its hard to close it again

you say being harsh is good?

sorry not for me.

if i got my reason

if you don't understand

too bad then,

cold-war begins

until the next ice age.

sorry

but i'v already told you.

you think you are mature??

you think you are being considerate??

oh please, if you are,

i won't be here nagging at you already.

when i saw the msg,

it shaked my heart,

and bring me a surge of

jumping down from the train.

because

you

do NOT understand.

you will NEVER understand.

P.S i refuse to listen, asking for help, answering your questions
i will do my part.

so leave me alone.
for goodness sick.

am i happy?
no im not,
im just trying to be......

the used-to-be-me :(

if you read this, then

i wanna

thank you :)

Labels: Cold-Blooded

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Thursday, October 04, 2007
2:10 PM

fake

freaking fake

fishy faking

i hate * being fake

it makes me feel disappointed & hopeless

the reality is still breaking

friends??!!

troubled!!??

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Tuesday, October 02, 2007
1:40 PM

feeling demoralised

and yet, still afraid of asking for help

such a idiot.

life goes on

here it comes.

____________________________________

if everyone else knows it except for me

then don't let me know it forever

will be better, maybe.

seeing you frowning is just as bad as 911

so, never mind

just let it go

you won't care, will you?

____________________________________

Labels: In the world of 16:9, there are always thousands of possibilities per second.

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

Sunday, September 30, 2007
5:13 PM

if you get hurt in your world,

come to my world,

i will give you my hugs.

and last thing to remember,

never tell me you love me :((

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]

1:34 PM

my sixth sense tells me that something going to happen

well.....it's not within my control

so i just got to get ready for~~~~

never mind, it's your choice

so

you decide.

woke up in early afternoon today as these few days have been doing OT till 2..

i had a really bad dream yesterday, and i cried throughout my dream,

with his presence.

it was really bad and so bitter

and i almost died.

well

one more month to go,

and u will not seeing me for a long time i think.

i played with them as we are really good friends,

and i like to have fun with them.

it's good to make people around you happy anyway.

but that doesn't mean im childish.

im just trying to hide my secrets

which nobody knows.

I know all of these,

you will never care.

It's okay,

take care yourself, and the one you love at least.

~be strong & smile~

[ this is how it ~~all~~ started* ]